all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize
