this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Send help, water and tortillas.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
