Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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