One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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