So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Randomize
