cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
