Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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