Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize