all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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