i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
