i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
