My brain says no but my pants say off.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
