What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
