oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I think my fart just growled at me.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
