Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
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