Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
We are two peas in an std pod
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
Randomize
