New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
