Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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