Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
