was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
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