Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
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