I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
