yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
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i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
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The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
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