I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
