remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
