Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Congratulations! We have a period
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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