if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Randomize
