I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
