my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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