mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
