Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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