I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
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