I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Randomize