i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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