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doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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