Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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