also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
