I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
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I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
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He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
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