what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Randomize
