so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
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