i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
