Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
this is an emotional support booty call
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
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