he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Drake has all the answers
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
