Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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