i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I need a burrito and a hug.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
