I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
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