she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
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