I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
