i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
do nipples grow back?
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