I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
