Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just pee around me
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
