All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
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