I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
