Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
