kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
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