great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Randomize
