I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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