Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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