Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
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