guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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