this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
stop calling my apartment porn island.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Randomize
