I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
